HOLLYWOOD - Loved ones are distraught after American icon Ronald McDonald was found dead in Hollywood apartment Friday. This marks the third clown murder in Los Angeles this month. Family members who discovered Mr. Mc- Donald inside his apartment are frustratedatthelackofanswers and information from investiga- tors. “He’s just a dumb clown. Who cares? I never even liked McDonalds”, said one detec- tive. “This is a waste of our time and money. It’s a clown. Who gives a rats ass”, said another detective. “We need to know what happened”, a family member said. Mr. McDonald was

last seen at a McDonald’s 3 blocks from his apartment on Wednesday. Witnesses say he arrived at the McDonald’s, sat down and ate a hap- py meal and then left. When he didn’t answer any calls or texts later that week, his family became concerened and decided to visit his apart- ment complex. That’s when they made the gut-wrenching discovery. “He was unrecognisable”, said Ronald McDonald’s brother. He said his brother didn’t have any enemies and was loved by friends, the community and the country. He wants answers and wants the police to take this case seriously. “Yes he’s a clown but that doesn’t mean they should blow this off. God I hate pigs”.